02 Jun Life Update

I always notice time, how long it’s been since a certain occurrence. It’s been 1 year since I moved to my current house. This is the first time I have had nearly perfect peace in my adult years. I say nearly because I do not want to jinx it but it’s been glorious! This period has made and evolved me into who I am today… a believer in hope. My mental space, physical being, and spirituality were at best ‘dealing.’ I was picking up pieces after a catastrophic tornado. I was bushed. This past year has seen me grow in tremendous leaps. I love every bit of it. I am a better mother, I am a better woman and a better human being all around. I am happy. Truly and indeed. 6 months ago I thought I’d never get here, but here I am. I am happy!!!

Life update…I am in school! I’ve always wanted to go back but I had not decided on a field to major in because I only ever wanted to be a pilot. I have now settled on a career path that fits my personality and interests well. I also get to be a freelancer or start my firm. I will be in the back-office end of ‘things’ and I get to work with papers, records, calculators, and computers. Bliss. When I say I can live alone on an island with just my children as company, best believe it. I am a full-time student, Monday through Friday. I still work in the afternoon and over the weekend. I am also still a full-time parent and very present for my school-going children. My social life is still lacking but not for trying, I leave my house every weekday and I’ve met different interesting people which is a bump from before.

My life has become very full but at the same time simpler and more fulfilling. I make time for self-care regularly, I love it! Being pampered and feeling very girly. I take myself out for a solo date or go with my sister. I love this freeing feeling. For all this to be possible, I did something for myself that I did not know I desperately needed. I hired a nanny/house helper. Her presence made me realize just how much mental load I had bogging me down. I was doing everything. Everything. Being a mother and a provider. I loathe house chores, I absolutely am not that ‘wife material’ type any longer. The only household activities I now undertake are cooking and physically caring/nurturing for my children. Anything else, pass me up. I had enough of it, I will not take it back up, I am done. My nails now stay pretty and I provide everything that my household needs to run smoothly. No one is left behind.. 

My Mr. Future Man…this blog post is for you. I am growing wings that had been clipped. They are unfurling and I am eager to see just how wide the wingspan is. I am healing, my soul is getting lighter, and my mind is blossoming. I love how my dating requirements have shrunk to the presence of vital abiding core values, everyone else falls off the side because I will not do toxicity or drama… I am at peace alone why should it be not be an option in a relationship? I want a healthy fulfilling union. I am a 60-year-old woman in a 34-year-old woman’s body. I am done playing, I am grown. Playing silly games over my heart with a grown man is something I will not check in my box. That is not my portion. Come correct.